I am having a really rotten day. For some reason I am just sad, homesick and a little anxious. Trying to cultivate joy this afternoon in the middle of paperwork, looming taxes and trying to figure out when to work out and when to have dinner.
Also, thinking hard thoughts like, “Do I really love Jesus?” and “How do I live in the love of Jesus without fear?” "How can I say I love Jesus when I don't always love the people around me?"
So, in the middle of all this I get a call from the gastroenterologist with the results of my Christmas endoscopy. The nurse says the Barrett’s is gone.
I still have some acid reflux damage but the bad part is healed and this means no endoscopy for three years. This is a miracle for someone to whom anxiety is the default position.
Joy can come from such weird places but today I will take it. I still don’t know whether I love Jesus enough (probably yes and no) but right now I am certain He loves me.